Bring Back Triangular Windows

It’s a nice fall day out. The sun is shining but the wind is cool. You’re driving in your car, windows up because you wanted to listen to some music. I mean really listen to it. You jam out for a bit, then get a little bit hot because you were jamming so hard, even though you had the air on inside. You think to yourself, “ya know, it’s nice outside, I think I’ll let some of that in especially since I’m feeling so hot right now”. So you roll down the window. Because of your aerodynamic car, not much air goes in, mostly just catching tendrils here and there that caress your hot face. MORE. You need MORE. So you roll all of them down. Now it’s a howling cacophony, yet somehow still not getting in enough air as you’d like, and definitely not enough to cool all of you (if you catch my drift). So now you open the sunroof, because you’re cool. Nope. Still not enough.

And now you’re there, trying to cool off because you were jamming out so hard, and you eventually cool off enough about 10min later, just in time for you to get out of the car and walk around and get all hot again. If only there were something that could have cooled you off faster and given you more time to enjoy the b-e-a-utiful air before you had to walk around and get hot again…

Sigh…..

This all could have been solved with more air. You know what used to do that?

Triangular windows

There was a time when almost every single car had equipped on it a pair of triangular windows. You know what kind I’m talking about: the kind that were on your front doors, just about close to where your mirrors are. A little piece of glass with a little hinge and lock that you could swing around in such a way that it would scoop the air in and jet-blast you square in all-the-parts. It was glorious.

Feeling hot down in the swampy parts? BOOM. Triangular Windows.

Loving the fresh air and just want to drown your sorrows with nature? BOOM. Triangular Windows.

Want to put your head out the window like a dog but can’t because you’re driving and don’t want to crash and die? BOOM. Triangular Windows.

I’m telling you, I don’t know why they were removed from all the new cars, but I honestly miss my triangular windows.

Story Time

I used to have a little 1972 Volkswagen Super Beetle. It was a sweet two-tone plum-purple and grey (I know it sounds weird, but you honestly had to see that car), and it was a beater from an accident, so it didn’t have much. But you know what it did have? Triangular Windows. No A/C, just triangular windows and two regular windows. I’ll be quite honest, if I didn’t have those little windows I’m pretty sure I would have died in the summer sun: cooked to death in my little Beetle-oven. That, or driven mad because this little guy (whom I named Leonard) didn’t have a sound barrier between the inside cab and the engine in back, so it was LOUD AS HECK. The triangular windows helped drown out the noise of the engine with sweet, sweet air to my earlobes. The hot hot summer was made much more bearable with my little triangular windows.

God bless triangular Windows.

I also used to ride a big Ford F-150, probably made sometime in the early 90’s. Man, that thing (whom we just called Big Red) was loud, slow, and (of course) didn’t have any A/C. But you know what it did have? You guessed it, Triangular Windows. I remember one day quite vividly. I was driving home from school (which was almost an hour drive) in the hot summer heat. I remember I had just finished longboarding around the school grounds trying to get to my parking space (because all the cool kids were longboarding at school) and I was super hot and sweaty. Man, I got going on the highway and threw those suckers open. BOOM. Beautiful, loud, cool air jet-blasted all of my swampy parts so well I cooled off in about 3 min flat. That was just about the best experience I had with that truck. Shortly after it tailspun me off an exit ramp and tried to kill me, but hey… It at least had triangular windows. I’m pretty sure those windows somehow saved my life (probably just with sheer moral support).

God bless triangular windows.

Then end

So anyway, I hope this sheds some light into a little piece of the past that I honestly sorely miss. Manufacturers don’t put them on anymore probably because:

1. They’re a security risk since they don’t really lock 100%
2. It most likely messes with “aerodynamics” or some crap
3. Because they hate fun

Honestly, I’d give up the 0.01% fuel efficiency aerodynamicism creates for the car just to have some triangular windows. I like it when my things have more options that the user can decide if they want to use or not (unlike most modern things), such as my decision to not use my totally rad triangular windows.

Anyways, this was my Ode to the Triangular Window.

May you forever stay in our hearts

kenizl86 out!